I'm still here

This blog is proving very hard to maintain. I'm finding myself in a situation where time and energy never seem to come together long enough to sit down and write an entry. I seem to be able to write code even while I'm almost asleep (although I wouldn't want to vouch for the quality), but writing words are a different matter. I did get another wonderful run in around the woodland park here next to Balbirnie House. It was hard not to restrain myself. I feel like I'm rediscovering my running mojo. Still planning to join the lads up to Ullapool tomorrow if I can get everything done in time - which will involve another late night at the hotel here and an intense morning. I really need to unwind a little!

Manic

We're training another set of users in Holland on Friday and they're going to be using the shiny new live version. This means that I've got to sort out all the nitty gritty little things by then, the jobs that tend to get put off until the last moment, bits and pieces like postcode validation for a different protocol and providing Dutch translations for key terms. The mind also gets highly focussed with just a few days to go, and all kind of trivial little bugs (that have been sitting around unnoticed for months) come to the surface. Once one gets spotted it's impossible to ignore, despite that fact that it has been happily ignored by everyone for so long before.

Had to head into the office for the afternoon but I was determined to get out for a run first. There was no time really and the only opportunity I had to stretch was during a couple of phone calls I had to take. This is time management being taken to ridiculous extremes! But I did run for about 40 mins and therefore about 4 miles, taking into account stops to look at the views (which were rather beautiful in the hazy autumnal light, the sun just beginning to break through the morning mist). Once again, the calf felt fine for the most part, tightening up just a little towards the end of the run.

I enjoyed a very rare evening off, going to Pictureville with M, failing to get there in time to see the intended film, but watching CSNY Deja Vu instead, the story of .... It was very well put together as a documentary and the quartet ( average age of over 62) were all looking pretty damn good, and very articulate. It was great to see so much fire in the belly after so many years. And why shouldn't there be? I trust that my passion for life will still be going strong in 10 years time, and more, but it's always inspiring to see it in others.

'Rest' Day

CKZ and AC are at Warwick today showcasing the software at a conference, and it appears to be going very well. There was a kind of official launch and everyone is keen to start using it as soon as possible. Lots of enthusiasm. Lots of plaudits. But I've been chained to the computer all day again, rewriting some key components in the light of experience and much better understanding. It's been a bit of grind though. In trying to solve one problem I uncovered another, which first had to be solved, which in turn revealed another problem. I got to a point quite quickly where I lost sight of the original problem altogether! It's at such points where it can all get overwhelming, but then you start to sort things out and unwind the chain of problems, and suddenly the way forward is clear again.

Despite the hassles with the software I guess I didn't mind too much missing out on all the back-slapping and general smooshing at Warwick. It was important that I was on hand tonight to help out with Maths and English homework. The diligence as far as the schoolwork goes has not yet dissipated away! So, a day of rest from exercise but I feel far from rested. Didn't even get to do too much stretching. At least I have quite a few issues sorted to show for all the effort.

Out-sprinted

A long day and night at the computer, but I did manage to punctuate it with a 4 mile run on the moor and a 23 mile ride on the bike with the boys. I'm heeding all the good physio advice and balancing things as much as I can. M's orders were to go very easy on the run and stop for some stretching. This is I managed to do, largely courtesy of very heavy legs from yesterday's efforts. I ran out to the Swastika Stone and back, using the natural rocks at the mid-point to provide means of stretching out all the relevant muscles.

I had suggested a bike ride to my lads earlier in the day but by late afternoon, with a bit of drizzle around, my enthusiasm was waning. No.2 son was well up for it, though, and he was the one who prompted us all out. We headed out to Bolton Abbey, then the gated road past Hesketh Farm to Embsay and back via Barden Tower. I've ridden this with No.2 son a few times in the opposite direction and have wanted to introduce him to the descent from Halton Heights for some while now. They both loved it. No traffic on the road so I was able to avoid using the brakes completely. It never ceases to provide an adrenaline rush, cornering at the bottom at well over 40mph. We were all on a high after that and the pace kept up pretty well. The customary sprint at the golf course was won by No.1 son who came from nowhere to steal it on the line from No.2 son. I can't work out how hard I was actually trying. I was last and would like to think I could have given more - but I'm not so sure.

Birthday Boy

I've got quite a few weekends away in the next month so this weekend really has to be a working one. It also happens to be No.1 son's 17th birthday. I was hoping to get both sons out for a bike ride, to make the most of a rare bit of good weather, but it was impossible to breach the apathy barrier. On any other day I would have vetoes their objections, but I had to let the birthday boy decide for himself. He was happy to have a quiet birthday, going to see a film in Leeds in the afternoon and then dinner out in the evening. He very much wanted to see Step Brothers, but I made an executive decision and persuaded him to go see Pineapple Express instead. Equally silly and violent, but at least done with style and wit and high production values. It was a truly guilty pleasure to watch, one of those films that you enjoy far more than you really want to admit!

The only problem for me was watching it on a beautiful saturday afternoon. After so many wet and miserable days it just did not seem right to be inside and missing the sun. At least I did get out for a rushed run before we left. About 4 miles on the moor at a good pace - possibly a little too good a pace for I felt the calf tighten a bit towards the end. I wanted to make the most of the time I had!

Anyway, No.1 son seemed to have a good birthday, although he blew away the evening dinner, prefering instead to have a quiet evening in, watching some of the DVDs he received as presents. Like father, like son in so many ways!

Bike/Run Balance

It's very late right now, and as I still haven't had a chance yet to blog anything about my trip to the Czech Republic I thought I better just let friends and family know that I ran my race, finishing in the top half of the field (just!) and had a truly wonderful time. I'll hopefully get to post the details over the weekend. 

Since getting back it's been completely crazy. Not a spare minute to be had in any day. I'm struggling with the workload. That said, though, I have prioritised the training today and did get out for an easy 3 mile run on the moor at lunchtime (legs still feeling heavy) and then, as I couldn't persaude either of the boys out on a rare nice evening, hit the "3 hills" on the bike and quite surprised myself with an effort that turned out to be only 10 secs off my record (32.52). I pushed hard, and I died more than a little on the final climb up Monastery Hill, but I'm taking it as a sign that my bike fitness remains good despite the distinct lack of recent miles. I felt the calf tighten a little on the hills, but it seems to have stretched out again now. I'm going along with M's training advice and feeling rather optimistic about a good winter's running ahead. I just need to ensure that I make enough time for the stretching and the bike/run balance. Hopefully, reporting back on this blog will help!

Feeling Heavy

Overwhelmed

Back with a Bump

Mixed Bag of Pleasures

The World Masters

I felt that I should have woken up ravenously hungry but I didn't really have much appetite for breakfast. I was very much aware that the calf was still tight and also that the last time I was in this position, a few months back, racing when not absolutely sure of the wisdom of doing so, I tore a muscle just half a mile into the event. Having travelled this far I couldn't not race, but I didn't feel able to get into a racing frame of mind. It was all about simply finishing the event without causing myself damage. That was my personal race. At least I was in a better position than M, who had collected her rented mountain bike and would hopefully have a good ride to the top of the mountain in support. On the other hand, with the skies as clear and the temperature as warm as predicted, perhaps she was going to have a better day. I never go well in the heat.

There was quite a bit of time to kill in the morning, but it's amazing how much got absorbed in collecting numbers and chips and faffing around with shoes and kit. Before we knew it the first race was about to start, the V75 and V80s and it was truly astonishing to witness how good these people looked. Could I possibly be that fit in 25 years time? It was inspiring to see. I was actually quite glad that they run a shorter course than us so no embarassing comparisons of time could be made!

With half an hour to go before the start of the race I began to get in the mood a little - despite E asking me if I was limping! The legs didn't feel particularly zippy but after some gentle warming up the tightness seemed to disappear at least. Psychological? I really don't know. My head was more into survival and enjoying the experience rather than racing and I thought about this odd fact that 90% of the runners here today have absolutely no hope of being in contention for a medal ... me included. Why do most of us put ourselves through all the rigours of training and racing merely to finish half way down the field? I mentioned something to E that I think answers the question pretty well. It came to me that we were like extras in a major feature film. There were just a few people with star billing, who actually featured in the main storyline, but the film would be nothing without all us extras, with our relatively inconsequential but nonetheless important walk-on parts. It wouldn't be a feature without us, for we provide all the colour and the atmosphere that makes the event what it is: a celebration of fitness and endeavour, rather than just about medals. That thought made be feel more at home.

We've seen so little sun this year that I found it near impossible to seek out any shade before the start. The sun was like a drug. I couldn't get enough of it ... possibly because this would be the last chance to feel real heat on the skin until well into next year. It was too good to miss. I had almost forgotten what a summer sky looks like. I honestly think that the last time I saw a sky like this was the morning of the White Rose Classic back in June - those wispy high cirrus clouds that suggest the sky is going to stay blue all day. We just haven't had those kinds of days this summer. Occasionally some blue sky in the morning but of the kind that gives way to bits of cloud soon after breakfast and then to overcast skies by mid-morning and rain at lunchtime. As I wasn't taking the race too seriously I thought it worth the risk of dehydration to indulge in a bit of sunlight therapy.

I had no plan for the race other than to test myself as hard as I dare while monitoring the calf for signs of stress. Actually, I wasn't thinking very clearly because I started too well up the field, harbouring this unconscious desire to stay within spitting distance of E - with a mind to attack him on the final steep approach to the summit. The first small climb felt fine and the pace comfortable enough but then we hit a flattish mile across some fields, with no respite from the heat of the midday sun. That section did for me. It soon became obvious that I'd started too fast for my current fitness level. I didn't appear to be moving very quickly but it just felt so hard. It was then all a matter of mind games as I settled to try and enjoy the run and occasion, getting overtaken by first DA and then AH, and unable to find the will to hang onto them. The trouble with 'settling' is that the adrenalin is no longer pumping, and without that natural pain-killer the running feels so much harder. I'm sure the effort felt greater than if I'd been firing on all cyclinders and running a minute a mile quicker.

The course didn't really suit me, with not many good hard running gradients. It seems to use fire roads in the forest which were quite gentle or ski slopes which were too steep - with not much in between. I much prefer a steady gradient which you can dig into and get a rhythm going. It was with some relief, then, that I finally crossed the finish line, without too much care about time or position. M was there to greet me, but I was suffering from the heat and had to sit down for a few minutes before moving on. There wasn't much space up at the top but I didn't really care - not even when another competitor bent over to shake my hand and released over me a good half pint of sweat from out of his cap! I guess it really was very hot. Someone had mentioned 34 deg at the summit!

We soon met up with the guys from the V60 race and it looked like they may have won the team gold. After some refreshment we took a walk back down to the village directly below and the shuttle bus back to the start where the party and music was already going well. Two pints of beer disappeared very quickly indeed. I still had no appetite for any food and it went to my head very effectively. The rest of the evening passed by in something of a haze. The prize-giving was wonderful, even though it did go on for hours. Our lads duly picked up their gold medals and I stood for the national anthem for the first time in years. I normally object on principle, because it is such a terrible dirge, but I guess this was a very special occasion. We went back to our hotel to eat (with M cramming 8 people into the rented Polo!) so missed some of the more entertaining acts that were laid on for us. It was good to finally eat.

I found out that I finished 52nd out of 104 runners in my category. I was in the top half of the field, which was my realistic aim for the day. By strange coincidence, when I ran the race 5 years ago (as a V45) I finshed 38th out of 76 runners. So, my target for next year in Zagreb is clear. There is definite room for improvement. M is highly motivated too. I think she could be close to medal contention if she can run to her potential.

To Dolni Morava

A Big Day

It's been quite a while since I've had the inclination to compile anything more than superficial thoughts on this blog. It's all got a bit boring really, but I've wanted to keep writing an entry each day anyway, just to complete the record. This is a wonderful, crazy and ridiculously hectic time of my life, and it will be fun to look back on this written narrative. Days disappear into weeks and then into months. It's good to get some vague feel for where all that time goes. I know everyone seems to experience this acceleration of the passage of time with each passing year, but I feel it's getting up to a ridiculously dizzying speed in my case. Making some notes at least serves to place little markers down. When I've been under too much pressure to write an entry for a few nights I've been amazed at how difficult it's been to remember where those days went.

That is a preamble before declaring that today is actually a very special day, although, oddly, it hasn't really felt particularly special - probably because I'm just too damn tired to appreciate the significance. I caught the train to London this morning (I'm writing this on the last leg of the journey back in the early evening) to sign a contract with the Health Protection Agency to deploy my software across the country over the next 18 months. It's been a long and rather painful negotiation, much of which, fortunately, I've been able to leave in the hands of my business partner. But the deal is done now and with a contract finally in place we can start to recruit some good people to share the workload. That will actually make life a bit harder before it starts to get easier, but it's a process that we have to go through. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel ... and for once it's not an oncoming train! At least I hope not!!

Despite all the pressures and the inevitable long hours ahead, I'm looking forward to developing the application further and working with the users (public health consultants and nurses mainly) to create a tool that they will enjoy using and which will help them in their job. That's a real motivation for me. This contract should bring some financial security, which will be very welcome (after 30 years without having any at all), but if I look deep inside myself, I cannot see the remunerative aspect as being much of a driver. I relish most this opportunity that I've been given to do something of just a little significance in the world, and do it really, really well. That's a privilege and it's what truly drives me when I'm struggling against tiredness during the late nights. So, if you are unfortunate enough to contract a nasty infectious disease, it is more than likely that your case will be recorded and managed using my software. God help you!!

I've still got loads to do tonight in preparation for training the Dutch people next week and configuring the software for their needs. Then tomorrow I'm flying out to Prague with M and a few other local runners for the World Masters. I've got to the point where I really don't care too much about performance on the day. I'm just looking forward to a great mini-adventure with lots of food and drink and lively banter. And, best of all, no computer. I fully intend to be off-line until Tuesday.

Summer Over?

It's now past midnight and I've not left the house all day. I've barely left my office bedroom all day. The only relaxation was cooking a Thai Curry and watching Desperate Housewives! I've felt very stressed, hemmed in by the pressure of so much to do, with very few available days left (before some key deadlines) in which to grab time at the computer. My calf still doesn't feel quite right, although I'm beginning to wonder how much of that is just stress and paranoia. I probably would have rested even if the weather had been good enough to tease me out ... but the rain continues, and it's turned distinctly cool and windy - so no pining for the great outdoors.

It feels like summer (what summer?) is over on so many fronts. The temperature. The last one-dayer v South Africa was washed out so the international cricket season is over. The boys started back at school. No.1 son is now in the 6th form (how is that possible I ask myself?) and No.2 son is starting his two year run in towards GCSEs. They both had a good day, especially the youngest, who seems remarkably enthused by his new teachers and mostly the fact that he seems to be in sets with all his best mates. He seems very keen to work and get some good grades. The eldest also seems keen to work hard and he's a little daunted by the reality of that, but also looking forward to the reward that hard work brings. He's mature enough to understand that equation now. I really hope all this enthusiasm lasts.

At the Grindstone

Another long day, punctuated by a trip to the office in Bradford, writing code, fixing bugs, fielding support calls, configuring the application for training in Holland next week. There is just too much to do. Even under this kind of pressure I guess I'm still enjoying what I do, but I am so looking forward to getting away on Friday. It will be pure bliss to be able to turn the head off for a few days after the grind of the last few weeks.

Staying Positive

The calf was still feeling tight yesterday so I decided to be proactive and call my physio, managing to get in at short notice on a cancellation. The tightness was very evident but I was encouraged to find out that it doesn't seem to be too serious. The feeling is that I should be ok for the weekend. I'm staying positive.

Another long day at the computer meant that I had no energy for a ride tonight. I was actually rather glad to have no one else turn up from the Harriers for the Monday meet - leaving No.2 son and myself to take just a short local ride, only about 6 miles but taking in a few hills, and missing the showers. I couldn't feel any further niggle from the calf, but I was reluctant to push very hard. It was good at least to get some air before settling down to another late night at the computer.