Negative Feedback

That tide metaphor has proved very apt today. I seem to have been toiling against the current all day, especially with work, getting snagged on rocks, generally making hard work of things. I'm at the stage where I'm fixing the little bugs, the less consequential ones which tend to be fiddly and hard to solve, and sometimes prove not to be bugs in my software, but bugs in the browser - as was the case with one issue today. I need to be on form for this kind of thing really, but I'm just not firing at the moment.

I've always believed that energy breeds energy, and the reverse seems to be true too. Not having had any proper exercise for three days now, I feel ridiculously tired and lacking in energy. I need to reverse the feedback loop. I had hoped that was going to happen tonight, intending to cycle out to watch No.1 son play at North Leeds, again, this time for the U17s, but the forecast was for rain, and the weather at 5pm was so miserable that I thought there was no way the game was going to get played and I ended up working instead. As it turned out, they did get a game in, but my lad had a bit of a shocker, out for a duck opening the batting. He's having a rough season, not getting much time at the crease, and when there, feeling too much pressure to make the most of it - and getting out as a result. He's kind of stuck in a negative feedback loop like me. Psychologically, cricket can be a truly brutal game. I guess he's learning some valuable life lessons this summer. I felt sick to the stomach when he came back to give me the story. It's his last game for three weeks because he's leaving to see his mum in Peru in a couple of days and I really wanted him to finish on a high. A lot of games have had to be rearranged this season for various reasons, and they all fall within the time he's going to be away, so he's missing even more cricket. He's putting on a brave face, but I know he's beating himself up hard over this. I so want to help, but there is nothing I can do. Perhaps this trip away is actually coming at a good time. He'll get some space. And that's what I need too.